Yitteh Teh Kitteh

Now boys and girls, please gather up your pillows and blankets as we begin storytime before naptime:

funny pictures

Awn teh fur-awai ai-lan ov Sala-ma-Sond,
Yitteh teh Kitteh wuz keeng ov teh pawnd.
A nys lil pawnd. ait wuz kleen. ait wuz neet.
Teh waturz wuz warmly. Dere wuz plentee 2 nom.
Teh Kittehs can has ebbryfing Kittehs maht can has.
N dey wuz awl happee. Kwyt happee ndeed.
Dey wuz… ‘til Yitteh, teh keeng ov dem awl,
Dsydeded teh keengdum him rulzorzed wuz 2 smawl.
“I’s roolr”, sed Yitteh, “ov awl dat ai c.
But ai no c enough. Dat’s teh trubbl wif meh.
Wif dis ston 4 a throne, ai luk daon awn mah pawnd
But ai no can luk daon awn tHim playsis beeyawnd.
Dis throne dat ai sit awn b 2, 2 low daon.
It awt 2 b hyur!” him sed wif a fraon.
“If ai culd sit hi, hao much gr8ur ai b!
Wut a keeng! Ai b roolr ov awl dat ai c!”
N Yitteh, teh Kitteh Keeng, gib a komand.
Him ordrd 9 Kittehs 2 swim 2 hims stone
N, usin dese Kittehs, him bildeded a noo throne.
Him maded eech Kitteh stand awn anuvver wun’s bak
N him pyuhld dem awl up n a 9-Kitteh stak.
N den Yitteh klymd up. him sat daon awn the pyuhl.
Wut a wunnerful vyoo! him culd c ‘most a myl!
“Awl mine!” Yitteh cryded. “Oh, teh fings ai nao rool!
I’s teh keeng ov a cow! N ai’s teh keeng ov a mule!
I’s teh keeng ov a howse! N, wut’s moar, beeyawnd dat
I’s teh keeng ov a blooberee bush N a goggie!
I’s Yitteh teh Kitteh! Oh, marvulus meh!
4 ai b teh roolr ov awl dat ai c!”
N awl thru teh mornin, him sat up dere hi
Meowing ova N ova, “A gr8 keeng b ai!”
‘til ‘lawng abowt noon. Den him hurd a faynt sigh.
“Wut’s dat?” snapt teh keeng, N him luked daon teh stak.
N him saw, at teh botum, a Kitteh namd Mack.
Just a part ov hims throne. N dis pln lil Kitteh
Luked up N him sed, “Beg ur pardon, Keeng Yitteh.
Ai has payns n mah bak N mah sholdrs N nees.
Hao lawng must we stand heer, Ur Majistee, plzkthxbai?”
“SILENCE!” teh Keeng ov teh Kittehs hissd bak.
“I’s keeng, N ur onlee a Kitteh namd Mack.”
“U stay n ur playc wyl ai sit heer N rool.
I’s teh keeng ov a cow! N ai’s teh keeng ov a mule!
I’s teh keeng ov a howse! N a bush! N a goggie!
But dat nawt b awl. Ai’ll do betr den dat!
Mah throne shal b hyur!” hims royul voyc thundered,
“So pyuhl up moar Kittehs! ai can has ’bout 200?”
“Kittehs! Moar Kittehs!” him bellod N brayd.
N teh Kittehs ‘way daon n teh pawnd wuz afrayd.
Dey trembld. Dey shuk. But dey caym. Dey obeyd.
Frum awl ova teh pawnd, dey caym swimn bai duzns.
Hol famblees ov Kittehs, wif unkls N cuzns.
N awl ov dem stepd awn the hed ov poor Mack.
1 aftr anuvver, dey klymd up teh stak.
Den Yitteh teh Kitteh wuz purchd up so hi,
Him culd c 40 myls frum hims throne n teh sky!
“Hooray!” shaotd Yitteh. “I’s teh keeng ov teh trees!
I’s keeng ov teh birds! N ai’s keeng ov teh b’s!
I’s keeng ov teh butrflyz! Keeng ov teh air!
Ah, meh! Wut a throne! Wut a wunnerful chayr!
I’s Yitteh teh Kitteh! Oh, marvulus meh!
4 ai b teh roolr ov awl dat ai c!”
Den agin, frum below, n teh gr8 hevvee stak,
Caym a gron frum dat playn lil Kitteh namd Mack.
“Ur Majistee, plzkthxbai… ai no like 2 complayn,
But daon heer beelo, we is feelin gr8 payn.
I noes, up awn top u r cing gr8 syts,
But daon heer at teh botum we, 2, shud has ryts.
We Kittehs can’t stand it. Ar bonz wil awl crack!
Besydz, we can has foodz? We r the starvin!” grond Mack.
“U hush up ur mouf!” haoled teh mytee Keeng Yitteh.
“U’ve no ryt 2 talk 2 teh wurlds hyest Kitteh.
Ai rool frum teh clowds! Ova land! Ova C!
Dere’s nuffin, no, NUFFIN, dat’s hyur den meh!”
But, wyl him wuz shoutin, him saw wif surpryz
Dat teh moon ov teh ebbenin wuz startin 2 ryz
Up ova hims hed n teh darkenin skyz.
“Wut’s DAT?” snortd Yitteh. “Say, wut b dat fing
Dat dares 2 b hyur den Yitteh teh Keeng?
Ai shal not allao it! Ai’ll go hyur still!
Ai’ll build mah throne hyur! ai can N ai will!
Ai’ll cawl sum moar Kittehs. Ai’ll stak ‘em 2 heven!
Ai can has ’bout five thowzund, six hunnert N sebben!”
But, as Yitteh, teh Kitteh Keeng, liftd hims paw
N startd 2 ordr N giv teh comand,
Dat playn lil Kitteh b-lo n teh stak,
Dat playn lil Kitteh hooz naym wuz just Mack,
Dsydeded him’d takn enuff. N him can has.
N dat playn lil lad got a bit mad.
N dat playn lil Mack did a playn lil fing.
Him burpeded!
N hims burp shuk teh throne ov teh keeng!
N Yitteh teh Kitteh, teh keeng ov teh trees,
Teh keeng ov teh air N teh birds N teh bees,
Teh keeng ov a howse N a cow N a mule…
Well, dat wuz teh end ov teh Kitteh Keeng’s rool!
4 Yitteh, teh Keeng ov awl Sala-ma-Sond,
Fell off hims hy throne N fell Plunk! n teh pawnd!
N todai teh gr8 Yitteh, dat Marvulus him,
Is Keeng ov teh Mud. Dat ais awl him can c.
N teh Kittehs, ov course… awl teh Kittehs b free
As Kittehs N, maybe, awl kreechurz shuld be.

Teh moarul ov teh storee:  Kitteh stakin muchly betr n kyootr den turtlol stakin.

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