Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Lolbstr Kwadrill

August 1, 2008

 

 

funny pictures

Wil u walk a lil fastr
Sed teh Wytin 2 teh Snayl
Deres a Porpus rite bhynd us
N hims tredn awn mah tayl

C hao eegrlee teh Lolbstrs
N teh Turtlols awl advans
Dey b sitin awn teh sheengl
Wil u com n joyn teh dans?

Wil u wont u
Wil u wont u
joyn teh dans?

Wil u wont u
Wil u wont u
joyn teh dans?

C hao eegrlee teh Lolbstrs
N teh Turtlols awl advans
Dey is sitin awn teh sheengl
Wil u com n joyn teh dans?

Wil u wont u
Wil u wont u
joyn teh dans?

Wil u wont u
Wil u wont u
joyn teh dans?

 

In Ur Mordor…Steelin Ur Reengz

March 11, 2008

From ICanHasCheezburger comes this:

Humorous Pictures

(With sincerest apologies to Led Zeppelin):

Leebz r fawlin awl arown,
It b tym ai wuz awn mai wai.
Kthxbai 2 u, ai b much oblyjd
4 such a plehzunt stai.
But nao it b tym 4 meh 2 go,
Teh awtum moon lyts mai wai.
4 nao ai smelz teh rayn,
N wif it payn,
N it b heded mai wai.
Ah, sometyms ai gro so tyrd,
But ai noes ai gots wun fing ai got 2 do,

Rambl Awn,
N nao b teh tym, teh tym b nao
2 meow mai sawng.
Ai b goin rownd teh wurld,
Ai can has mah gurlkitteh? Awn mai wai.
Ai bin dis wai ten yeers 2 teh dai, Rambl Awn,
Gotta fynd teh kween ob awl mai dreemz.

Got no tym 2 4 spreadin’ roots,
Teh tym haz com 2 be gawn.
N tho’ ar helth wii drunked a fouzund tyms,
It b tym 2 Rambl Awn.

Rambl Awn,
N nao b teh tym, teh tym b nao
2 meow mai sawng.
Ai b goin rownd teh wurld,
Ai can has mah gurlkitteh? Awn mai wai.
Ai bin dis wai ten yeers 2 teh dai, Rambl Awn,
Gotta fynd teh kween ob awl mai dreemz.

Ai no tellins teh lyz.
Mynz a tayl dat cant b told,
Mai friidum ai holdz deer;
Hao yeerz ago n daiz ov old
Wen majik filld teh air,
Twuz n teh darkest deps ov Mordor
Ai met a gurlkitteh so fayr,
But Gollum, n teh ebil wun krept up
N slipd awai wif her.
Her, her….yea.
Aint nuffin ai can do, no.

Rambl Awn,
N nao b teh tym, teh tym b nao
2 meow mai sawng.
Ai b goin rownd teh wurld,
Ai can has mah gurlkitteh? Awn mai wai.
Ai bin dis wai ten yeers 2 teh dai, Rambl Awn,
Gotta fynd teh kween ob awl mai dreemz.

Gonna rambl awn, meow mai sawng
Gotta keep-a-surchin’ 4 mai babeh…
Gonna wurk mai wai, rownd teh wurld
Ai cant stawp dis feelin’ n mai hart
Gotta keep searchin’ 4 mai babeh
Ai cant fynd mai blue bukkit!
Ai lisen 2 mai blue bukkit seeng but ai cant fynd mai blue bukkit
A-keep-a ramblin’ babeh…

Is it too early?

January 23, 2008

Is it too early to be making sick jokes about someone’s death?

I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now that actor Heath Ledger, whose most memorable role was that of Ennis Del Mar in the 2005 smash hit “Brokeback Mountain,”  died yesterday of a possible drug overdose.

Possible my ass.

According to a police spokesman, “pills were found within the vicinity of the bed”. Later, they reported that the pills were prescription meds, including sleeping pills. According to earlier reports, the pills were “strewn about,” but this is not true.

I still say he probably wished he knew how to quit the pills.

I don’t think he was sick of pills. It’s too early in Winter to be sick of pills.

I wonder if he was sick of acting. It’s too early to be sick of acting.

OK, OK…I’ll work clean from now on. He will be missed. What gets me is that he was my age.  My heart goes out to his family and friends who will miss him greatly.

S-A-T – Teh Cheezburgr Sekshun

January 21, 2008

The other day the popular website I Can Has Cheezburger posted the following image:

 SAT Question

In response, I have come up with the following questions which may or may not appear on a future revision of the SATs.  Please read the questions carefully, use only a #2 pencil to fill in the corresponding bubble sheet.  Please fill in the bubbles correctly and completely or the answer will not count.  Do not begin the test until I tell you to begin.  You will have 30 minutes to complete this section.  When you reach the -STOP- symbol at the end of the test please stop. When you have finished, you will close your test packet, turn your answer sheet over, and put your head down. You may scroll down to the first question and begin the test now.

Q1. Kitteh:Cheezburgr::Goggie:___________

A. Hamburgr
B. Hotdog
C. Zalad
D. Chikin Sammich

Q2. Lolrus:Bukkit::Goggie:___________

A. Sockses
B. Butterz
C. Cellular
D. Staplr

Teh nekst foo kweschuns relayt 2 teh fawloeen storee.

Ai is a lolrus. Ai losted mah bukkit abowt a yeer ago. Sum stoopy hoomins tuk mah bukkit. To comp…kompin…maded up 4 it dey gives meh a cellular. Dey den tuk mah cellular. Ai wuz teh sad. Ai den joynded a bukkit loss support groop. Ai has maded manee frends froo teh groop. Ai has been informd bai mah associates as to hoo tuk mah bukkit, n y dey tuk mah bukkit. Ai was awlso tolded dat mah bukkit b n Soviet Russia n dat it misses meh.

Q3. Hoo b tellin teh storee?

A. Kitteh
B. Goggie
C. Lolrus
D. Ceilingcat

Q4. Wut b teh nayratrs pryzd poseshun?

A. Cellular
B. Sockses
C. Cheezburgr
D. Bukkit

Q5. N wut locayshun wuz teh nayratrs pryzd poseshun fownded?

A. N teh hol wif Ceilingcat
B. Bafroom
C. Wif hoomin
D. Soviet Russia

Q6. Hao duz teh nayratr feel?

A. 😦
B. :\
C. :@
D. Awl ov teh abov

MATHS

Q7. Teh goggie has 4 sockses. A hoomin trys 2 taek a sockses. Hao manee sockses duz goggie hab?

A. 3
B. 2
C. 4 – Him warded off teh hoomin.
D. 1

Q8. Happycat receebs a cheezburger. Soon 3 frends sho up. Hao manee cheezburgerz duz Happycat need to shayr wif frends?

A. 3
B. 2 – one is a vegetamarian
C. 0 – He nommed teh cheezburger b4 dey arryvd
D. LOTS N LOTS OV CHEEZBURGERZ

spalin
Which b teh korekt spalin ov teh wurd dat goez n teh sentns?

Q9. I can has ___________?
A. Cheeseburger
B. Cheezburgr
C. Chzbrgr
D. Eevur B or C

Q10. I miss mah ____________.

A. Bucket
B. Bukkit
C. Fish
D. Cellular

Q11. Whut fudz b tastee n nootrishus?

A. Butterz
B. Broklee
C. Brusl Sprowtz
D. Marjrin

Q12. I maded u a _____________

A. Toast
B. Cawfee
C. Cookie
D. Tea

Q13. Whut did ai do wif ur fing I maded?

A. Eated it 😦
B. Drunkd it 😦
C. Gayv it to goggie 😦
D. Nuffin yet 🙂

Q14. Hoo b wachin u?

A. Goggie
B. Lolrus
C. Ceilingcat
D. Happycat

Q15. Wich wuns ar teh poyzun?

A. Red
B. Blue
C. Green
D. Orange

-STOP-

Snow???

January 17, 2008

Yes, it does snow on occasion here in the South. It’s snowing right now. Or it was. I think it’s sleeting or raining right now. It keeps switching from one thing to another. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND!

If you live in the South, especially Georgia (where I live), you know how a single snowflake can cause mass mayhem all over. People think the world is coming to an end. Rivers turning to blood, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria. You get the picture.

The following usually occurs right at the first thought of snow:

  1. Grocery stores will run out of bread, milk, eggs, toilet paper, and beer. Everyone believes that they can survive on these five items alone.
  2. All newscasters are expected to call it “The Storm Of The Century” and provide round-the-clock coverage of the snowstorm.
  3. This is the only time kids will be more interested in the news than their parents. They hope that the schools will be closed.
  4. People are expected to forget everything they learned about driving. They do this when it rains any way.
  5. When the newscasters discuss the snow, they must send one unlucky bastard out into the field to show that (A) it really is snowing, and (B) said snow is accumulating by scooping it off the ground, a nearby car, or some other object.
  6. The newscasters are also expected to report to the storage barns that the County or State D.O.T. store large amounts of salt and/or sand, which will be used to coat the roads so they can be more “passable”, and tear up your vehicle like hell at the same time.
  7. After the storm, the newscasters are expected to return to “the scene of the crime” and show the storm damage, if any, that has occurred overnight. It is also required that they show a truck from one of the utility companies (electric is most preferable), or County maintenance crews, removing any fallen trees or other debris from the storm.
  8. People are expected to call in during and after the storm to the TV and radio stations. There should be one guy, usually named “Zeke” or “Bubba”, from rural parts of the metro area of a major city like Atlanta or Birmingham, to call in and say, in these exact words, in his best Southern Redneck drawl, “I ain’t never seen nothin’ like it!”
  9. In the Downtown district of the major city, street vendors are expected to sell “I survived the Blizzard of (insert year here)” T-shirts for $10 to $20 a pop.