Teh sun wuz shinnin on teh C,
Shinnin wit awl hims myt:
Him can did hims veree bestest 2 mayk
Teh billos smoof n bryt–
N dis wuz odd, cos it b
Teh middl ov teh nitey-nites.
Teh moon wuz shinnin sulkily,
Cos her thot teh sun
Had got no bidnes 2 b dere
After teh dai wuz dun–
“Tis veree rood ov hims,” her sed,
“2 com n spoyl teh fun!”
Teh C wuz wet as wet culd b,
Teh catsands wer drai as drai.
U culd nawt c a cloud, cos
No cloud wuz in teh sky:
No birdz wuz flyin ovrhed–
Dere wuz no birdz 2 fly.
Teh Lolrus n teh Karpintur
Wuz walkin clos at han;
Dey mounrzd lyk n-e-ting 2 c
Such quant…kwant…maneez catsand:
“If dis wuz onlee skoopd awai,”
Dey sed, “it wood b grand!”
“If 7 maids can has 7 skoopz
Skoopt it 4 haf a yeer.
Does u spose,” teh Lolrus sed,
“Dat dey culd get it cleer?”
“Ai dowt it,” sed teh Karpintur,
N hims cryeded a bitter tear.
“O Oysturs, come n walk wit us!”
Teh Lolrus did b’seech.
“A plesnt walkies, a plesnt tawlk,
Alowng teh brinee beech:
We can has no maor den 4?,
We can gibs hand 2 eech?”
Teh oldy Oystur lukd at him,
But nevr a wurd him sed:
Teh oldy Oystur winkd hims I,
N shuk hims hevee hed–
Meening 2 sai leeve the oystur bed – DO NOT WANT!
But 4 baybee Oysturs hurryd up,
Awl eagr 4 teh treetz:
Thems cotes wuz brushd, thems faces washd,
Dere shoos wuz cleen n neet–
N dis wuz odd, cos, u noes,
Dem has no feets.
4 ovver Oysturs fawlod dem,
N yet anudder 4;
N thick n fast dey caym at last,
N more, n more, n more–
Awl hoppin thru teh frothee wayvs,
N scramblin 2 teh shor.
Teh Lolrus n teh Karpintur
Can has walkies 4 a myl or so,
N den dey restd awn a rawk
Conven..Konveen…veree ez n lo:
N awl teh lil Oysturs stood
N waytd n a row.
“Teh tym has come,” teh Lolrus sed,
“2 tawlk ov manee tings:
Ov shoos–n ships–n Ceilingcat-wax–
Ov cabbijus–n kings–
And why teh C is boiling hot–
N whevver pigs can has weengs.”
“But wayt a bit,” teh Oysturs cryd,
“B4 we can has our chat;
4 sum ov us is owt ov breth,
N awl ov us is teh fat!”
“No hurry!” sed teh Karpintur.
Dey kthxbai him much 4 dat.
“We can has bred?,” teh Lolrus sed,
“dat’s wut we cheeflee needs:
Pepr n vinagur besydz
B very gud indeed–
Nao if ur redee, Oysturs deer,
We can begin 2 nom-nom-nom.”
“But nawt on us!” teh Oysturs cryded,
Turnin a lil bloo.
“Aftr such kindness, dat wuld b
A dismal ting 2 do!”
“Teh nyte is fyn,” teh Lolrus sed.
“Do u admyr teh vyoo?
“It wuz so kynd ov u 2 come!
N u is veree nys!”
Teh Karpintur sed nuthin but
“I can has anover slys?
I wish u were nawt kwyt so def–
I’ve had 2 aks u twice!”
“It b a shaym,” teh Lolrus sed,
“2 plai dem such a trik,
Aftr we’ve brot dem owt so far,
N maded dem trot so qwik!”
Teh Hoomin sed nuffin but
“Teh butterz spred 2 thik!”
“I weep 4 u,” teh Lolrus sed:
“I deeplee symp…simp…unnerstenz.”
Wit sobs n teers him sortd owt
Dose ov teh larjist syz,
Holdin hims tishoo
B4 hims streemin eyez.
“O Oysturs,” sed teh Karpintur,
“U did has a pleasunt run!
Shal we b trottin hoam agin?’
But ansur caym dere none–
N dis wuz scarsly odd, cos
Dey’d nom-nom-nom-nommed ebbry1
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